I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
