Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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