I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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