I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
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