At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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