did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize