Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
