When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
