Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
