D3 body, D1 cock
Dual....:-)
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
