I'm really into asian looking animals
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
