The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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