Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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