Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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