I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
