He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
