ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
