I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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