just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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