GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
