I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
