It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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