i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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