So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Randomize
