he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
