areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I want her autograph on my taint
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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