so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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