Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
