Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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