i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
