Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
