thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
