question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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