he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
