dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Drake has all the answers
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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