You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
