So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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