I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
