I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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