Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
