? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
