OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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