My brain says no but my pants say off.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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