butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
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sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
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We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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