Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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