I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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