I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
