don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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