Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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