he thought i was a dude.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
