You just made me feel so damn special
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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