I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
pray to the hookup gods
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
