Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
