I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
