there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
