so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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