hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
