I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
