I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i think im in europe. pls send help
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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