what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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