Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
