and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Randomize
