we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
