I got chris browned last night
it wasn't lemon gatorade
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
