you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
