i think i have herpe
just one?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
